Vivian Baruch

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Certain characteristics and attributes increase the likelihood of relationship success. These characteristics are learnable and teachable. They are skills that a well-trained couples counsellor can teach you.

1. Be self-aware

Tune into yourself and learn to recognise and name your thoughts and feelings as they arise. This helps you to manage your reactions. Be willing to let them inform you and don’t under express or over express to your partner. Act courageously without over-analysing possible outcomes. Relationship success requires a lot of trial and error. That’s the mindset of a courageous partner. Self-awareness, differentiation (the skill of turning within, naming your thoughts, feelings and needs; self-soothing and then communicating what’s happening clearly to your partner), in combination with teamwork, are vital ingredients for a fulfilling relationship.

2. Be genuine when speaking up for love

People are attracted to those who are genuine and open. Being genuine entices others to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. This is not about sugar-coating the truth, telling your partner what they want to hear or pretending things are OK when they’re not. That’s not genuine. Learning to speak up for love, knowing how to rock the boat effectively and not taking your relationship for granted keeps your relationship alive and genuinely connected.

3. Develop a can-do attitude

Difficulties and conflicts are inevitable in relationships. But if you’re often negative – seeing the glass half empty, the hole in the donut, why it can’t or shouldn’t be done – you’ll never resolve difficulties effectively. Despite being presented with all the opportunities in the world, you’ll be hesitant to risk. Learning to challenge your negative thoughts and feelings and taking calculated risks are vital steps to becoming an effective team-mate and building relationship success.

4. Ability to connect

Build bridges, not walls. Talk informally about your day, your dreams and desires and also inquire about what’s in your partner’s heart. Communicate and chat in a friendly manner. That’s what opens hearts. It only takes 10 minutes daily to build a connection. This investment in time reaps enourmous rewards for you and your relationship.

5. Be inquisitive, search for answers

Ask about how things would best work for your partner, and how he or she thinks you can work together to create the type of relationship you want. Develop a genuine need to figure things out, and to understand how real relationships work. Don’t stop until you achieve the relationship success you’re looking for.

Read more about Making Sure Your Relationship Will Flourish.

For help in developing the characteristics of relationship success in yourself, Call 0421 961 687 or email us to schedule an appointment. International callers should call +61 421 961 687.

You deserve the best trained relationship coaches if you’re planning to invest time and money in your relationship. If you’re not ready to book an appointment, call us on 0421 961 687 to book a FREE 15 minute phone consultation to discuss how we may be able to assist you.