Dimensions of the “Good-Enough Sex” Model – by Michael E. Metz, Ph.D. & Barry W. McCarthy

1. Sex is a positive dimension in life, an invaluable part of your individual and couple comfort, intimacy, desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction.

2. Relationship and sexual satisfaction are the ultimate focus and are essentially intertwined. You are an “intimate sexual team.”

3. Realistic psychological, biological, and relational expectations are essential for sexual satisfaction.

4. Good physical health and healthy behavioral habits are vital for sexual health. You value your sexual body and your partner’s sexual body.

5. Relaxation is the foundation for sexual pleasure and response.

6. Desire and satisfaction are more important than arousal and orgasms.

7. Valuing variable, flexible couple sexual experiences (the “85 percent approach”) and abandoning the “need” for perfect individual sex performance inoculates you against sexual dysfunction by overcoming performance pressures, fears of failure, and partner rejection.

8. The five purposes for sex (pleasure, intimacy, tension reduction, self-esteem, reproduction) are integrated into your sexual relationship.

9. Integrate and flexibly use the three sexual arousal styles (partner interaction, self-entrancement, role enactment). 10. Gender differences are respectfully valued and similarities mutually accepted.

11. Sex is integrated into real life and real life is integrated into sex. Sexuality is developing, growing and evolving throughout your life.

12. Sexuality is personalized: Sex can by playful, energizing, spiritual, special.

Resource: Metz, Michael & McCarthy Barry (2010). Enduring Desire . Routledge.