ANGER AWARENESS TEMPERATURE GAUGE

BOIL                                   

-Leave the situation now

-Get physical space now

-Do not approach partner

-Call a responsible time-out

– Do not follow partner who is taking space

HOTTER

-Protect yourself & partner by emotionally detaching from the situation now

-Calm down by deep breathing, going for a walk, or praying

-Replace trigger thoughts with calming, soothing messages & images                                      

-Get in touch with the thoughts & images that trigger your anger

HOT

-Take care of yourself

-Seek support from friends or others

-Remember to think even though you are angry

-Detach emotionally & take responsibility for your anger

WARMER                          

-Express anger in productive ways

-Remember to express yourself by using “I” messages & expressing your feelings

-If you escalate to anger quickly, you can call a responsible time-out now

WARM

-Get in touch with any feelings & thoughts under your anger e.g. hurt, fear, sadness, guilt, shame or loss of control

-Be aware of your physical sensations, feelings & thinking

-Express yourself without attack, blame, defensiveness, sarcasm or withdrawal

COOL

-Remember to manage your feelings

-Remember to control yourself & also be aware to acknowledge your partner’s different perspectives & feelings. You don’t have to agree.