You may think that learning to say “No” is a simple matter. But this is not necessarily true. We usually expect our partner to respond to requests pretty quickly after we make them. What we often don’t realise is that some requests are not so simple Read More
14 Jul Five Stages of Intimacy
Did you know that there are five stages of intimacy in relationships? These stages develop over time and each stage has specific skills that can be learnt and practiced. We enter into love relationships with hopes and wishes, but without a manual Read More
12 May Is your relationship charge gone?
Is your relationship charge gone? You've probably not been taught that relationships require an ongoing investment of attention, time and energy to maintain and enhance their vitality. Relationships are like gardens - they are living Read More
16 Mar “Sexual Intelligence” by Dr. Marty Klein – a review
We all want something from sex otherwise it wouldn’t be such an issue for so many people. When asked what it is people want from sex, in his book “Sexual Intelligence” Dr. Marty Klein, who is a marriage, family and certified sex therapist Read More
23 Jan 10 Minute Relationship Miracle
There is a secret behind the 10 minute relationship miracle. This touching email describes the pain that many people experience when they feel disconnected from their partner: “I get the feeling that my partner is becoming emotionally distant. Read More
11 Nov Self-soothing and Self-care in Relationship
Today I want to write about self-soothing and self-care in relationship. I think these are such important topics when you are working on improving your relationship. Too many people work so hard at getting things right with their Read More
06 Sep I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You
I love you but I’m not in love with you. I can’t tell you how frequently I hear these words in my relationship counselling practice! I understand them to mean something like: “Is this relationship really over or does my unhappiness mean that Read More
17 Jul Re-create Your Relationship Vision
Can you re-create your relationship vision once your relationship has lost its energy? Can you get the energy and juice back? Yes, you can. Creating a shared vision helps you regain control of your own story. It helps you re-focus on working Read More
25 May The Myth That Sex Should Be Spontaneous
Many people believe the myth that sex should be spontaneous. This myth goes hand-in-hand with its twin – the fantasy that sexual compatibility is an “instant fit” and that sex is supposed to be easy, tension-free and uninhibited. These combined Read More
24 Apr Intimate Attachments in Successful Relationships
The importance of your intimate attachments and connections to others cannot be emphasised enough. John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, studied attachments for his whole life. His opinion was that your intimate attachments to other human Read More