There is something to be said about approaching love with the fearlessness of a spiritual warrior. We can love fearlessly. We all hear so much about what can go wrong with relationships, that we omit to focus on all the ways they can go right! In particular it’s easy to forget about how we can actively contribute to relationships working well.
Here are 7 ways to help you approach love with the courage and integrity of a spiritual warrior:
1. LOVE YOURSELF
It is only when you truly value yourself that you can love others and be open to receiving love. Take time to nurture yourself in healthy ways. Also remember that you’re not perfect, no-one on this planet is.
2. LOVE WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN
This is practicing to love fearlessly, and requires you to come from a place of fullness in yourself. You cannot give what you don’t have. But don’t keep giving if any of these three most common causes of relationship unhappiness are present. These deadly relationship behaviours are the 3A’s, otherwise known as Addictions, Affairs & Anger (which includes any acting out or unmanaged mental health issues).
3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF
Be accountable for your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Others cannot “make us” feel or think or do anything. Build your relationship on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness. We do have choices about how to respond. It’s our response-ability!
4. COME FROM YOUR HEART
This is your centre, your guiding light, your seat of courage and wisdom. It is our heart that connects our head (thinking) with our gut (instinctual knowing). Don’t do these six relationship killer behaviours. And remember – trust needs to be earned, don’t just give it.
5. BE YOURSELF
If you want to be loved for who you are, don’t pretend to be someone else. Your true self always comes out anyway, whether you’re aware of it or not. Be aware that you do have to learn intimacy skills & practice them every day.
6. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
It’s OK to say what you think, to express what you desire and to say what you don’t like. Practice doing this respectfully & kindly. There’s a way to bring up sensitive issues which makes it more likely that you’ll be heard. Remaining silent or withdrawing prevents you from connecting with others in meaningful ways.
7. STAY OPEN
Fear can shut you down. But when you fearlessly allow your vulnerability to show, knowing that you love yourself anyway, real relationship is possible. Brene Brown talks about the power of vulnerability. Your true friends and partner love you for your ability to show vulnerability. That’s true courage.
If these seven actions sound like too much for you at present, pick one and practice it daily until it becomes an automatic way of being.
Although simple to read, they are not easy to put into practice. One way to put them into action is to learn strategies to calm your emotional brain, because it reacts against loving fearlessly.
You deserve the best trained relationship coaches if you’re planning to invest time and money in your relationship. If you’re not ready to book an appointment, call us on 0421 961 687 to book a FREE 10 minute phone consultation to discuss how we may be able to assist you.