Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain explains how we can use the frontal cortex (neocortex) in our brains to train ourselves, with practice, to moderate the fight/flight/freeze/appease reaction which is our impulsive, knee-jerk reaction to threat. Evolution over thousands of years has hard-wired us humans to respond in predictable, but not necessarily skillful ways when we’re afraid or angry.
Yet with planning, repetition and practice, we can develop new and more helpful ways of responding to stress and danger, particularly in our close relationships. With regular use of simple techniques, we can learn to distract, self-soothe, and to emotionally regulate ourselves. Using these skills can help us gain time to choose a new response, or if we have already reacted with fear or anger, to quickly repair any behaviours which have caused harm to others.
We all need to learn how to expand our Window of Tolerance so as to better handle life and relationship stresses. Learn more by clicking on the above link which explains more about the Window of Tolerance.
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